This was a poem about the love between a vampire and a guy. any improvements or tips?
A question asked by Loving Kitty: This was a poem about the love between a vampire and a guy. any improvements or tips?
Torn
He sees the pure white mist,
Every inch of land, by the moon, kissed,
The land sings the moons croon,
A mysterious, alluring tune.
This black night has begun,
What I will do, cannot be undone,
Tonight, on him I dine,
I immerse myself in fine red wine.
But I am torn between,
His blood and the man who calls me queen,
Should i want what’s mine?
I long for us both to intertwine.
The rhythm of his pulse,
Should I deny my killing impulse,
Touch my lips to his skin
at the burning dip under his chin.
A kiss, It is not smart,
I love the beating of his warm heart,
Shoud it stop with a bight?
And stop our loves angelic delight?
No. No he cannot die,
Our love should be allowed soar, fly.
Ignore his lovely taste,
A love like this cannot go to waste.
The No 1 answer:
Answer by -jAYNA?
i like it, but it seems it should have more syllabulls in some of the lines(:
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